Steps of Disernment
Step 1: Know the the Lord has created you for a specific mission.
The Lord has loved you into being, and since the moment of your conception He has had a plan for your life. He has created you totally unique. There is no one else in the world quite like you, and he wanted you to be here in this world. You are not an add-on, an extra, an afterthought, or luggage in this world. You are essential, indispensable and important. Jesus Christ has created you and you alone for some specific mission, and wants to reveal it to you.
Step2 : Accept the Lord's love and His choice for you.
The second step in discerning the vocation is to open yourself to the Lord's love. He told his apostles and now He is saying to you: "It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you." In order to hear His call we have to receive His love. He asks you to accept His love in spite your past mistakes, your weaknesses, your ignorance, your confusion...in spite of everything. He wants to overflow your heart with His love. Your task is to be open to receive. Without God's grace nothing good happens in this world, and so we need to receive His grace. His grace enables us to respond and say "Yes" to His call.
Step 3: Make yourself available to listen to the Lord.
If a vocation is a "calling" from God, then we must attune ourselves to His voice so that we can hear his call. Prayer is how we primarily listen to the Lord's voice. Oftentimes we know we should pray, but don't know how or how to even get started. If you don't know how to pray, don't worry. The Lord longs to be with you in prayer and will help you. He has already helped us through His Church by showing us the primary ingredients to a life of prayer. The first is liturgical prayer. Liturgical prayer is the public prayer of the Church, the greatest expression of which is Holy Mass. All of the Sacraments, like Confession, are liturgical prayer. Other examples of liturgical prayer are the Liturgy of the Hours, sometimes called the "Divine Office" and Eucharistic Adoration. We also need to develop habits of personal prayer, especially meditiaton (e.g. Lection Divina). Prayer which honors Our Blessed Lady is indispensable for finding your vocation. The Church and the saints for centuries have strongly recommended praying the Rosary.
Step 4: Cooperate with the Lord in clearing way obstacles to free you to say "yes".
Step three dealt with beginning to attune ourselves to His voice. But even after we know of His love and choice for us, and have begun to attune ourselves to His voice, we may soon realize that we are not completely free to give ourselves to Him. Perhaps there are things inside us that make us hesitate or even pull away from His call. So as we consider His love and choice for us, we must also consider, "Am I free to say 'Yes' to Him?" What keeps me from giving my entire self over in love to him?
Step 5: Give yourself entirely to Christ in love!
The next step is to respond to that love with all we are. We seek to give ourselves entirely to Jesus. Receiving His love and striving to get ourselves back to Him in love is called a "personal relationship" with Jesus. In order to understand the meaning of your life and what you are supposed to do with your life requires a personal realtionship with Jesus Christ. Another way of putting it is to ask yourself, "Do I know Jesus, or do I only know about Him?" It is in this relationship with Him as Lord and Redeemer and as His imtimate friend where we can ehar his call to us.
Step 6: Distinguish the voices.
In the process of discernment, we can become away of four voices, and learning to distinguish them from one another helps tremendously in discernment. The four voices are the Lord's, our own, the world's and the devil's. By attuning ourselves to the Lord's voice we can begin to tell these other voices from each other, which is why steps 1-5 are important. Those steps attune us to the Voice of the Lord. It is not always easy to tell these voices apart from one anotehr, therefore discernment requires time, patience, struggle and perseverenace. Jesus tell us, "Be not afaid. I am here." His love can conquer everything, and if we open ourselves to the power of His grace, we will come to find our vocation. Jesus' desire to tell us is infinitely greater than our desire to know. We only need confidence in Him.
By following these steps, you will be able to go a long way in finding your vocation. The important thing is to keep at it and not give up on any of the steps, and to have patience with the process. Keep giving it over to the Lord and it will happen. I also suggest that you being to pray, "Lord, help me to want to be, what you want me to be." It's a small prayer, but I've found it to be very powerful.